if you wake up Tuesday
with a headache
don’t blame Monday
her sister wasn’t there
pulling at your pigtails
her brother didn’t bully you
just because he said
you’re out of shape

you are
aren’t you
even a bit over weight

stop whining
in your glass
no one
cares if it’s half full
down the hatch
and pour another

in fact pour a round
so we all can get a glimpse
of where you are coming from
or at least
where you spent last week
when you claimed you were sick
and needed time off
man oh man
you’ve got one hell of a tan

stick to your story
really
stick to it

it isn’t fantastic
but it isn’t bizarre
a bit fictional
with enough facts
to make it believable

spent the week
on the web
in search of mr wonderful
they took your money
and didn’t mention
he doesn’t exist
that’s a figment
of imagination

yours
and all the other girls
who signed up last week

competing
for the attention
of some
unattractive
unreliable
un-articulate
unemployed
man

he didn’t post that
but you found out fast
when you met him for a drink
he left you with the tab

stinks
when you get hit in the face
you would have been in a better place
if you had
gone to work
and spent time conversing
with sam
he is not the jerk
they want
you to believe
for they all wear there hearts
on their sleeves

pump pa pump pa pump

stick to your story
even if you spent time on the beach
working on your tan